What can I do?

There is a longing only You can fill....

My deliverer, I will wait for you oh Lord, for Your mighty hand to save...

When all crumbles in, when all fails, where can I go? what can I do? but to look to You...

I hope I run to You straight away rather than lean on my strength

What on Earth am I here for?

DISCIPLESHIP- You were created to become like Christ

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.- Phillippians 2:5

Flipping in the newspapers with the fallen regime in Libya, the picture that stared at me was the similar scene of blood stains on the ground in pools surrounding fallen/abandoned bodies without the reach of medical treatment, like the one that I met in Phnom Penh.

Pray for the new people in government to show compassion in the face of contemplating the very immediate gratification of taking revenge against followers of the former leader.

before I start again

You suddenly realised that 24hours is a lot of time, and its really scary when you realised what you did with those hours given daily. A lot more evident when I sit down with a 3rd party to analyse this situation.

This week consolidating materials for parent-teacher conference, still consolidating due to the lack of efficiency on my part, and relying too much on physical self .
While consolidating I saw the wonders in how the children have grown since they came in January, February, March, April,May.

a question beginning my week:
Is my energy going into disciplining the children solely or you will choose to empower them in areas that I as their educator will provide for them.

so before I start again this week, a new week with a different perspective

Thank you Lord for His grace in picking me up when you fall really flat onto the ground .
to work hard and play hard for the Lord(:

God of this City

tonight as I prepare to sleep for the next 2, 2 1/2 hours, and finally clearing majority of my work before approaching it again when I return..
to reflect what I wrote last entry embarking to Cambodia last year.
Remembering how massive His power can be watching cities crumbling at the quick work of the Earthquake and to rely on the power of prayer ever more walking this week.


been soaking in a myriad of songs from contemporary, soothing tunes possibly for children's naptime, the hillsongs inspirations, children's songs, songs from AOF which I turned it down to approach it in Cambodia with a new heart& also tunes I remember from my first mission trip with crusade to Phetchabun, Thailand, where I witness the mime by Corneylus with Phoebe&Ian singing to the song, "No Sacrifice".

to remember that His life is higher than mine embarking this week in one of God's city, soften the ground and calling the children of heaven(:

To you I give the gifts

Your love has given me

How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?



Because

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life



To you I give my future

As long as it may last

To you I give my present

To you I give my past



Because

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

routines

These 3 weeks since Chinese New Year ended revolved around display boards(especially), finding my teaching style, organisational style, understanding colleagues better, building my relationship with the children.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that its work, and the slogan 'work never ends' is quite prevalent in my line of work. Unless there's no children left in the centre, work is bound to continue, and the motion just goes on like a water wheel, rolling as long there's a water current going through.

so the fact is I have take momentarily rest, or 'Sabbaths' just to stop that motion after spending 12plus hours each week night, working towards a seemingly poly assignment deadline, and more starts interjecting in the week.

Especially on my night walks home from the MRT, just to hold on to a little more of my faith and lesser on my own strength, knowing I don't have lots of free saturdays, evenings to spend quietening my heart for HIM lest meet up with dear people around me for dinners that I use to during army days.

Been turning to 98.7fm's top 20 countdown for just some company apart from the ocassional Senior Teacher who's as work focused on friday nights for the evening company, reaslising how little songs though with good beat, how no sense some of it makes, and dee jays who just fill our minds with mindless conversations that keep the cutting, pasting, a little 'thinking out of the box' at random laughters when designs appear different from how you planned it to be.

Thanking God each day, each week for what I wake up to each time.
To be ever grateful for what He's done(:

January

Its 4 weeks ALREADY since the school just opened its door. My inital shock that 3 children were coming in only,but it was a blessing in disguise. Feeling ever unprepared, underprepared, unprofessional about my standards.

I want to thank God for His wisdom, in small steps that I was able to take
while embarking on this 4 weeks.

October is approaching when my service term completes and
I'm asked,"so Jacob, what's next?Degree to what?"

Father show me...

If you're at such a crossroad,PRAY...praying with you(:

to lead, to excel and to overcome.

Joel's in OCS for his service term before that white chocolate bar on his green uniform actually rises 2 more times to 3, and finally been given a gold embroided one on his parade/office uniform.

I always remember the parades where I was took there with the band, rehearsing the countless times, always think you can't make it after the 1st mad rehearsal at 2.30/3pm in the afternoon, but taking it in gradually, moving up to becoming senior of the band & return the concern,look out for new birds coming in.

He's in 3 weeks, until chinese new year's eve at least,

and that God speaks to him, in His time, be His guide in the jungle of fieldcamps, overseas deployments, away from home.

KABOOM!

Thank God for the 1st worship that HE held in HIS hand, blessing our time as we honoured HIM. MAy the songs that we used be like fragrant incense that rise to HIM.

I pray that to not be a thing of this 1st sunday, but coming each week as an offering to HIM(:

walking how far?

counting the days from the last entry,
17 days just whizzed by, like how time passed setting up the things at my new school these few days.

Yesterday was day 1 at Holland Drive officially after 2 months odd at Jurong West. leaving missing these children who gave me joy that comes with the anger&frustration that taught me as a teacher to manage their child-like nature.

watching very hard God moving in the midst though i'm blinded/distracted a lot from the physical fatigue, things on my mind to hold on that I have this fear of fading if I took it off too long.
just the lack of discipline to pen down my thoughts that I have with my Father
cos I realised the memory of mine is very temporary.
Was walking home monday night without a flat phone,
thinking back what I saw in the
Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader past friday.

Apart from 'WAH's & other sound effects that accompanied my seat in all movies so far:X

It struck me when they began the voyage, where they were forewarn of temptations, portrayed in smoky green things that slowly seek to engulf you,buzzing around you.
I was like, don't you just want these things to just not appear in the first place and all the struggle to stay strong need not take place, but that's actually what we encounter in life walking the journey isn't it?
with perseverance & 'Aslan' revealing Himself to steer you back.

And when Aslan, dug the claws into the sand, roared at Eustace disintegrating the 'dragon scales' on the outside
reminded me of the time when Corney saw sharing from Isaiah 53:5 in his summary that
" by his stripes, impossible is nothing." from the 3 stripes in the sand.

which actually had the description of the moment Aslan ws brought to the stone to be killed by the ice queen in the 1st movie before he was resurrected.


the next part of thougts
revolved around relationships with people dear to me,
the significance/purpose of the trip to Cambodia, taking myself out of being like this
'I know what's it like to be there' mindset and clearly seeking what He's saying to me.
before it continued, prayer followed in& I reached the lift for an interruption.

My heart to quieten with my Maker
Blessed week my dear friends(:

Prayer warriors are you there?

A note from Cailin...
please keep the student at University of Texas in prayer, where Uncle Richard's sons are at, supposedly gunmen are in their compound at the moment:S

Hearing my parents really concerned for their nephew & family, while I do my part as cousin.
Please be praying for my cousin brother Joseph seem to undergoing quite a challenging phase right now, having baptised and dedicated himself to God's Lordship, has objections from his father.
The disagreements are starting to spew out of control revolving around this disagreement,
peace and calm parties to resolve it amicably.

In the storm, to look to YOU....

家家有本难

Pardon for the poor chinese.
It should mean in every household, each has their own difficulties.
I'm observing it in most families that I come across,
the tinge of 'dysfunctional'/imperfection that makes this family unit characteristically unique,knitted&perfected in some way.

like how we are put under the umbrella of God our heavenly Father embracing us
& remembering Jesus as our Saviour & seeking direction from the Holy Spirit.

In imperfection, I seek HIS hand to strengthen us(:

The Lord gives and takes away,but my heart will choose to
declare
Blessed be the name of the Lord..

My call today

Psalms 138

1 I will give thanks with all my heart;
I will sing praises to you before the gods.
2 I will bow down toward your holy temple
And give thanks to Your name for Your lovingkindness and
Your truth;
For You have magnifies Your word according to all Your name.
3 On the day I called, You answered me; You made bold with strength in my soul.
4 All the kings of the earth wil give thanks to You, O Lord, When they have heared the words of Your mouth.
5 And they will sing of the ways of the Lord, For great is the glory of the Lord.
6 For though the lord is exalted, Yet He regards the Lowly, But the haughty He knows from afar.
7 Though I walk in te midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will strectch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me.
8 The lord will accomplish what concerns me;
Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Amen

Causes

What is my cause of change & what do I want?

that's the thought heavy on my mind this week that i got directed to during dinner with my dear friend,Farhana from the polytechnic, currently at the one the childcare centres being forefront of advocating best practices for our children.

Peparing to begin my sponsorship bond
on top of preparing for Kaboom,Vacation Bible School(VBS), tidy up my every messy room.

What do I want to achieve out of this experience?

Retreat for HIM to speak to me this week as He lead my way(:

Quail Eggs!

Quail eggs Galore!
Yesterday was the last day of Chinese New year..so was suggesting to mum to cook..Which she had no ingredients to do so...So i went from place to place, stall at the wet market were like closing..manage to get most of the things...NTUC had some things..a dinner well eaten.
Love peeling Quail eggs

And Singapore won the bid to host the Youth Olympics..It's the first ever yea?Am Glad for Singapore that we have the previlage to do so..It's really a nice sight to see people jumping for Joy!
As I prepare for Mission Trip, Thank God for preparations being done...Received news that there was some challenges faced by the team carrying out the MILK missions, cos of an oversight of a driver..pray that we find strength in praying and also as the coordinator speak to the peaonnal, that hearts will be soften
Pray that as we prepare ourselves, we shine GOd's love to the people we meet(:
Prayers
Hope my application for relief teaching will be processed smoothly, application for relief teaching with Childcare too...
Pray for wisdom to discern to walk the journey of Childcare OR MOE